In the Suburbs, We Are All Gremlins.

I love living in the suburbs for the most part, and as my friends who live in Atlanta will tell you, I will go out of my way to avoid going into the city whenever possible.  But there is one thing that cities (especially New York) have an abundance of that we are sorely lacking here in the ‘burbs:  24-hour food establishments.

Patrick is a manager for a grocery store that stays open 24 hours, so sometimes he has to work late.  When you marry into retail, you accept the fact that there will be days you have to wait ’til it’s really late if you want to eat together, so I’m pretty used to this.  Tonight he got off work at 11, did a little grocery shopping, and got home at 11:30.  But this presented a problem:  neither of us really wanted to cook that late at night, but there’s just not a lot of food available in the area at midnight.

We called a few places first, just to cross things off the list.  Apparently the kitchens at all the casual dining places in the area close at midnight.  So we got in the car and decided to just go drive until we found something that was open.

It was a long drive.  Especially since I was already the kind of hungry that makes pants actually fit looser.  Every time we pulled up somewhere that looked busy, I was hopeful… but then I’d find out that the bar was the only thing open.

Places that serve food after midnight:
– McDonald’s (This is always my last choice.)
– Waffle House (I’m not 17 anymore.  I’d gain a pants size just by walking in.)
– Steak ‘n Shake.  But not the one near our house.  The one near the mall.

Everywhere else?  “Sorry, the kitchen’s closed.”

We ended up heading to Steak ‘n Shake, which isn’t exactly a healthy meal, but none of the options were.  The place was crazy-busy… PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY PLACE NEARBY WITH THE GOOD SENSE TO SERVE FOOD.  While it wasn’t a great service experience (they forgot to put malt in Patrick’s malt and they were out of their signature Frisco sauce), we got our steakburgers and shakes and will now likely be full for the next entire day.  We didn’t get home until 1:30, so in retrospect it probably would have been quicker to just cook something after all.

I mean, seriously.  Why is midnight the magic time to close the kitchen?  Because I’m a hell of a lot more likely to look like this if I haven’t had food after midnight than if I have.

If you know why midnight is the magic time, I don’t really care.  But if you want to share a restaurant that is open after midnight, please comment!